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The difference between men and women....

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发表于 2003-3-12 23:26:32 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
The difference between men and women....
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > MONEY:
> >
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
> >
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
> >
> >
> > BATHROOMS:
> >
> > A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
> >
> > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
> > A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
> >
> >
> > NICKNAMES:
> >
> > If Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
> >
> > But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Pin-Head and Useless.
> >
> >
> > EATING OUT:
> >
> > When the bill arrives, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
> >
> > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
> >
> >
> > ARGUMENTS:
> >
> > A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> >
> > CATS:
> >
> > Women love cats.
> >
> > Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
> >
> >
> > FUTURE:
> >
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> >
> > SUCCESS:
> >
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> >
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> >
> > MARRIAGE:
> >
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> >
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
> >
> >
> > DRESSING UP:
> >
> > A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
> >
> > A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
> >
> >
> > NATURAL:
> >
> > Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
> >
> > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> >
> > KIDS:
> >
> > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> >
> > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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